could i give it all away?

So I finished my first adventure into the community in the jungle....it has taken me a bit of time to unpack all that the Lord taught me in that time...I thought before coming here that i was not a selfish person, not that i go out of my way to give sacrificially but i am not stingy either...then i was shown in the by the people that i lived among what not being selfish really looks like....they share everything in the community, from food, to clothing, to water, nothing is considered only yours...my partner and I usually take our showers in the creek, but some nights that is impossible...so we walk over to a family's house and they allow us to use their water...this would seem like a very normal thing, but this is a family of about nine to ten people, and that is all they get for a whole day..they use it for washing dishes, taking showers, washing clothes, and to cook with...and every time they willingly give it away to us....not thinking of what will happen the next day if they don't turn on the pump and have no water....i realized that most of the time when i give i do it out of my abundance and not out of my poverty...it reminds of the story in Luke of the widow giving the last two coins she had to live on. I want to be like the widow but i find myself looking more like the rich people....i never give until it hurts...i never have to go without because i have given it all away...Why? why can't i live my life more like them, why can't i give it all away without expecting anything in return? When will i learn to love like this?